The updated version covers all those social media questions that I'm sure are totally keeping you up at night:
- Whether or not it's OK to add the man you like on Facebook. Apparently, you should only friend him if he wants to friend you. The best way to find out if he wants to friend you is to have your best friend who has study hall with him pass him a note with a box to check yes or no and then ask him to slip it into your locker on his way to fifth period.
- How often to post status updates without giving up your air of mystery. Or, you know, you could just be yourself so that later no one is confused about why you're suddenly nothing like the woman of mystery you first presented yourself to be.
- The use of emoticons in online conversations with men - I'm sure this is extremely important. One ill-timed smiley face could be the difference between true love and the devastation of cat-lady spinsterhood. Since I wouldn't ever actually read this book, I'm just guessing you probably shouldn't use any of these even though none of them really look like anything at all to me.
- How long to wait to respond to a text (this advice includes a timetable based on your age).
Hold up, can we just focus on that last one a second? A TIMETABLE BASED ON YOUR AGE.
What in the hell.
This made me think of a bit from Aziz Ansari's stand-up show. I just watched it last night at 2 am when I couldn't sleep.