Sunday, February 3, 2013

Midlife Crisis Book Club - February

Before I reveal February's pick for our Midlife Crisis Book Club, let's briefly discuss the January novel Flowers in the Attic.

I think we can all agree there is really only one major question to be asked at the end of that book:

How long would you have to be locked in an attic with your brother before you would have sex with him?













For February, in honor of Valentine's Day (which I still officially hate), I've chosen The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough.


I think this is going to be a different read than it was when we were in middle school and getting all steamy at the idea of a hot priest. The ongoing Catholic Church scandal has ruined that whole thing. I can't imagine being attracted to a Catholic parishioner much less a priest.

But I've come up with something to help this aversion to power-abusing indoctrination and institutionalized evil!

Pictures of hot priests!

On the streets of Rome, you can purchase a hot priest calendar.

You can also find a "steamy" gay hot priest calendar! 
"I will make you as firm as a rock, as hard as a diamond." 
(Ezekiel 3:9)

Sacrilicious! 

Or you can simply picture this guy. The Pope's personal secretary Georg Gänswein has been called the George Clooney of the Vatican.


"Go, call your husband, and come back." 
(John 4:16)




"My mouth praises thee with joyful lips, when I think of thee upon my bed."
(Psalms 63:6)

"And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do wonders."
(Exodus 4:17)


"Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side." 
(John 20:27)



Amen. 

Happy reading!

5 comments:

  1. Back in high school (all-boys, Catholic), there was this priest we used to call Fr. Face because he had these chiseled good looks that seemed wasted on a priest. Totally nice guy, with not a hint of gay vibe that I could detect. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fr. Face! I love it. It does seem like a waste. I really have never understood the celibate thing. It just seems stupid. Sex is totally natural and necessary!
      It's like deciding your religion means you shouldn't poop because "ooh gross."
      This is why they don't let me inside churches anymore.

      Delete
  2. Ha, this made me laugh a lot. I like the gay priests best, they are TOO handsome. I had no idea there were attractive priests, although I guess that's stupid, why wouldn't there be? It's a whole new world!

    Oh, you are very funny. The quotations are a joy.

    Jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At first I was all "The George Clooney of the Vatican, I think not!" because that is my automatic reaction when people want to compare someone to my pretend boyfriend. But after searching through numerous photos of Georg, I am sold. Mmm, yes. Reading The Thorn Birds is going to be a lovely experience, methinks.

      And thanks! Honestly, I was cracking myself up yesterday. I love sacrilege.

      Delete
  3. there's some excellent GIF-fing happening here.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.