Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Clooney Tuesday - Brain Dump Edition

The Weekend in Review 
Friday night, we saw Louis C.K. in Athens. He was just as good as I expected him to be. He scraps his old act at the end of a tour and starts over, so everything we heard was new. That was great since I'm pretty sure I've watched every single clip of him on YouTube.

When we took our seats, I said, "Jacob, you sit over there by Uncle Tim. When Louis C.K. starts making jokes about masturbation, you're going to want a buffer zone between you and your mother."

About midway through the show, some dumb bitch sitting near us yelled out, "Fuck you."

What? No, ma'am, you do not heckle Louis C.K. Hell, that's not even heckling, that's just stupidity.

It felt like the entire audience gasped in one huge intake of breath. Someone near the front turned and yelled out, "You bitch!"

Louis said, "No, you're not helping. Who said that? No, never mind." He carried on.

You could feel it in the place though, how the energy changed for a bit, how everyone was nervous this idiot would yell out something else rude and disruptive. I also thought, "No! Look what you did! Now he's not going to like us! I want him to like us!"

Thankfully, she didn't yell out again and, when the show ended, she bolted for the door. Louis went on with the show and quickly recaptured the joyful, relaxed vibe. On his way off the stage, though, he said, "And fuck you, too, lady."

This brings up something that bugs me: People who get wasted to attend concerts and shows. Why do people do this? Do they not want to remember the show they have paid good money to see? How about you stay home instead?

We had several drunk folks sitting in the row in front of us. The woman directly in front of me was with a date and she spent a lot of time rubbing his hair and looking at him. She was looking at him in that intense way people do when they're trying to get you to look back. Not a glance here and there but staring. WTF? You're at a show. Your date wants to see the show. Leave him alone.

People are weird.

Luckily, these folks did not ruin our enjoyment of a truly great comedy show. My brother and I spent the next two days saying to one another, "Oh! Remember when he said..." and "I forgot that! That was hilarious!"

It's good evidence of just how dense a Louis C.K. show is. There aren't just a few jokes that stand out. Every minute is filled with something funny or worth remembering.

For instance, he was discussing his looks and getting older. He said it's tough to look like this at 20, but by 45, it's OK. You have a way better shot with women because their "circumstances start to match your looks." So true.

He's going to film an HBO special during this tour (I'm glad it wasn't during our show because of that dumb, drunk woman.) The special will air sometime next year. Louis C. K. announced on Twitter that after this new special is shown on HBO, it will be sold a few months later as a $5 download at his Web site, louisck.net. I can't wait to see it.

One of the main reasons I love Louis C.K. is that I love hearing someone else who thinks about things in the same warped way, who uses humor to make sense of this messed up world. It's reassuring to hear someone speaking your language.

Sunday night, I went to Workplay to see Duncan Sheik. The audience was small so we had a table near the stage. It's been awhile since I've been to a show in an intimate venue like that. Duncan Sheik has an easy, relaxed manner on stage. I love pretty much everything he does, so it doesn't matter to me if he sings old stuff or new stuff. I thought the set list was a pretty good mix of both, plus a couple of covers of songs by Depeche Mode and Tears for Fears.

Are you too young to know who Depeche Mode and Tears for Fears are?

Afterward, there was a meet and greet. We chatted with one of the opening acts, Courrier, a band from Austin. They were great, full of energy and major stage presence. They're adorable and look young enough to be my children. I FEEL OLD. They have a new album coming out in the new year. I'm planning to buy it since I suspect it would make good writing music.

Unfortunately, the weekend also included the awful news of Jovan Belcher murdering his girlfriend and then committing suicide in front of other people.

Unfortunately, I have read the news stories and the endlessly ignorant comments underneath.

Unfortunately, I have heard people getting worked up about having their gun rights taken away.

There's just too much "unfortunately" going on up in here.

Here is the sort of gun control I endorse and wish people would consider: If you live with someone who is struggling with depression, get rid of the guns. If you live with someone who has a substance abuse problem, get rid of the guns. Get them out of your house. Lock them up somewhere. Put them in storage.

Yes, certainly, if someone really wants to die they will find a way to do it. What is also true is that not all acts of violence against others or oneself are planned out. They are impulsive. They happen in an instant. And, trust me, it's much easier to follow through with that impulse if you have a gun around.  So consider your personal situation. Consider whether or not you need easy access to a gun in your home.

This gun owner paranoia happens every time there is a violent news story like this. I wish that people would get worked up and rant about the fact that this country does a piss-poor job of discussing mental illness, domestic violence, and substance abuse.

I suspect people like to go through life thinking they're above all that, that they'll never have to face any of those issues, so maybe that's why they ignore it and stigmatize anyone who seeks help for such things.

Recently, Donald Trump posted some dumb tweet (OK, he posts some dumb tweet about five times a day, at least) about how he's never sought therapy.

No shit, dude.

The implication was that if you do seek therapy, you're a loser.

Loser is his favorite word. God, does he ever suck.

Louis C.K. actually did a bit in his act Friday night about doing comedy shows at casinos and how little old ladies give their quarters to Donald Trump. They give him their money because he needs it more than they do.

Louis said (and I'm paraphrasing), "Donald Trump needs a billion dollars. He needs it. He has a billion-dollar deficit in his soul he needs to fill."

We need to remove the stigma from seeking help for mental illness. YOUR BRAIN IS PART OF YOUR BODY. Sorry to go all-caps on you. But I just wonder how ignorant people are that they don't think mental health is just as important as physical health.


I remember once a few years ago, when I first started going to counseling, I ran into a coworker on her way into the office as I was walking out. She asked where I was headed and I said, "I have an appointment with my counselor."

She acted like I shouldn't have said it out loud. Please, give me a break. After Charles's death, I'd have been embarrassed if I didn't go to counseling.

Also, I have so little tolerance for people and their bullshit embarrassment about stuff. Embarrassment is for suckers.

Seek help if you need it. Don't shame people who seek help. Encourage your children to express themselves using their words. Don't shame them for crying or for expressing emotion. Make sure they know that they can talk to someone other than you if they need to.

And, yes, having a gun is your right. Good for you, Mr. and Mrs. America. But simply because you can have something in your home, should you? I'm not saying yes or no. I don't have an opinion about it really. I don't think making guns illegal is reasonable. I don't think it would make much difference.

I'm only saying think about it. Consider what is best for you and your family.

I, personally, will never live with a gun in my home again. I can imagine no scenario in which I will change my mind. If the zombie apocalypse begins, I will use a badass sword like Michonne. But to each his own. You fight zombies your way, I'll fight them my way.

It's only that I have seen firsthand just how quickly and easily a gun can change your life and the lives of everyone you love. Might Charles have died anyway, at some point? Certainly he might have. But his suicide wasn't some planned-out thing. It was decided in a heartbeat. Might he have made this decision again later, driven by an impulse that would come again and again? I don't know. I will never know.

Tina has been unpacking boxes that were in storage for a bit. She sent me this photo she found.
This photo warms my heart and breaks it all at the same time. They're so beautiful, the three of them, and I know that I was the person they were smiling at.

It's Kate's tiny hand wrapped around Charles's finger that just tears me up inside.

It's Kate's tiny hand wrapped around Charles's finger that makes me so determined to shed light on dark topics. Things can go terribly wrong. We are human beings and we are not perfect. We are beaten up by this world in which, frankly, we do not seem to truly belong. Sometimes it seems like we don't come fully equipped for all that will befall us.

Admitting that is not shameful. Seeking help to get through the hard times is not shameful. Speaking out about mental and emotional health is not shameful. Discussing tragic events without using the words "loser" and "asshole" is not shameful. Offering love and compassion to those who falter is not shameful.

That is why we are here, isn't it? To love one another?

If not, then it's hard for me to see the point.

If you're here to spread ignorance about all the losers in the world via Twitter, then Louis C.K. is right. You have a billion-dollar deficit you need to fill.

Here's a quarter to help you get started.

Perfume commercials are ridiculous

If someone in real life acted the way celebrities do in perfume commercials, you would say:

A) "Where the hell are you running to all the time?"

B) "Why the fuck are you lying around rubbing a perfume bottle all over yourself?"

C) "Um, so you can't take your necklace off like a normal person?"

How to Have a Stress-Free Christmas

For Christmas, Jacob has asked that we see The Hobbit that day.

On Reddit, I saw this take on those Facebook posts about bullying and it made me laugh:

"The hobbit you just called fat? He's skipping 2nd breakfast. The dwarf woman you called ugly? She spends hours braiding her beard so you can differentiate her from a dwarf man. The Uruk-Hai you just killed? He's been abused by Saruman. See that Gollum creature with the gangly limbs & large eyes? For 500 years the Ring poisoned his mind. That Elf you just made fun of for crying? She just lost her wizard friend to a Balrog. Put this as your status if you're against bullying in Middle-Earth."

I also want to see Les Miserables and we both want to see Django Unchained.

Last year, we relaxed at home all Christmas Day. For dinner that night, I picked up takeout from the Chinese restaurant one Interstate exit down from ours. Best Christmas Ever.

I think we'll do the same this year but with a trip to the movie theater that afternoon. I know I feel more grateful for all the gifts the world has to offer when I'm living in the moment with my two favorite people.

Clooney Tuesday

I almost forgot that it's Clooney Tuesday. Here's a clip of George on the Merv Griffin Show. That outfit...Oh man, the total 80s-ness of that outfit.

If he was wearing this outfit today, I would still jump his bones. Yep, totally.


  1. delightful as always amy.

  2. I love how you are able, with your words,to make all of us smile through tears and tear up through smiles. So special you are,Amy.

  3. I loved the show. So many hilarious moments. The whole way home from Athens, whenever someone crossed the line into my lane I yelled, "You are a worthless piece of shit!"

    1. I cannot wait for someone to bump into me on an elevator! "I hope you DIE!"

      After Friday, I really think Louis C.K. has a slight edge over George for the title of Pretend Boyfriend.

  4. I love Louis C.K. I love anyone who points out the ridiculous shit other people just take for granted as normal. And I totally stole that Hobbit bullying post. Thanks!

  5. How the hell did I miss this post. I laughed, I sighed, I did the Amy/Tina laugh sigh and laughed again. And I teared up. Just as I did when I unpacked that picture this past Monday, and saw Charles smiling up at me.

    Hobbit 2012. Its the best end to this disgusting year.

    I call shotgun next road trip to see C.K.


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