Sunday, December 23, 2012

But Where Does the Red Brick Road Lead?

During a press conference last week, the NRA's Wayne LaPierre suggested that 1994's Natural Born Killers is partially to blame for what happened in Newtown.

This has prompted me to share some good news and bad news with you, my loyal readers:

Good news: Nearly two decades ago, I watched Natural Born Killers. In the 18 years since, I never murdered anyone.


Wait. Not so fast.

Bad news: Last night I watched an even older movie.

This morning I accidentally killed a woman before stealing her shoes. Now I'm going to get a makeover and ask if they can turn my eyes from brown to blue. Then I think I'll murder the woman's sister and steal her broom.

Stick the dog in a basket 'cause this day's about to get crazy.

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