Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday's Random Thoughts - End of the World Edition

I was *thisclose* to making this a politics-free edition of Friday's Random Thoughts and then I remembered that I'm such a bitch! Whew! Just in time. Sometimes I forget.

If you are tired of politics or exhausted by what a liberal heathen I am, enjoy this photo of baby llamas and scroll down no further. Have a wonderful Friday.

So, let's do this.

That's all, folks!
Did you hear about how Mitt Romney's campaign canceled staff credit cards at midnight after he lost the election? His staffers did not know this until they tried to pay for their cab rides home.
Well, you can't say the man isn't fiscally conservative.
This is how you do it.

I can't wrap my head around the idea that some people think this man is evil or out to destroy the world. I see a man who is genuine. I see a human being with a full heart, a man who loves his wife and his daughters. I don't know what these rabid conservatives see that makes them so afraid.

I don't understand why we can't all encourage our elected officials to work toward the good of the entire country, to compromise (a democracy doesn't work without it), and to seek solutions. Nope, most of the Republican response I saw on FB is just fine with praying that this man fails completely. They're just fine with talking about how "we should remember the 2nd amendment and refuse to back down." So, you're going to use your gun? Is that what you're saying? For people so worried about the end of the world, y'all sure are some hateful, violent motherf*ckers.

I do know this: People who hate Obama with the most vehemence, and who express this fact through social media, cannot spell.

Red State Embarrassments 
Congratulations, Alabama. You're finally No. 1 in something. 

Too bad it's racist tweets.

Why do so many people in Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana have to be such embarrassing fools? I would agree with the person who suggested we just throw a tarp over these places and be done with it, but I live here.

On a daily basis, I witness all the wonderful and amazing things about this part of the country. I know there are SO MANY of us, of all political affiliations, who are not racist and who actually have friends and loves ones of many races. There are so many of us who do not judge people based on their religion and do not use the word "Muslim" as an insult. There are so many of us who do not care what your sexual orientation is. We want you to be happy. We want you to be able to marry the person you love.

My favorite idiot-tweet of the week is this one:

Australians on Twitter decided to ridicule young Kristen here. (By the way, Kristen is from Georgia. Goddammit, Southerners, get it together!) They pointed out that Australia has a prime minister, not a president. Australia's prime minister is a woman. And that woman is an atheist.

As one tweet said in response: "Not one word of that sentence is true. I'm not even angry, I'm impressed."

It is pretty difficult to be THAT wrong.

Despite not knowing a thing about the world around them, plenty of people are threatening to move out of the country.

There are others who think their next move is to heaven. The end is here! The sky is falling!

Sure, OK. The world is going to end. Tell them what they've won, Johnny. You're going to get a white horse and a mansion on a street paved with gold.

Why is heaven always such a lame, Donald Trump-themed disappointment? I mean, mansions and streets of gold? You think happiness is a gold toilet, too?

That shit I just took was pure heaven.
Will heaven also come with an endless supply of self-tanner? Probably flowing from an angel fountain.
This end of the world, apocalyptic stuff is extremely annoying. To all of you who think the end times are here, please - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - get over yourselves.

For one thing, what is it with this idea that what happens in America determines God's judgment on the entire world? Oops, sorry BILLIONS OF PEOPLE who live in other places, we elected the wrong guy. Put on your apocalypse pants and prepare to die.

I hate to break it to you, but the world will only end for you when you die. And you will die. You aren't special. Everyone you know is going to die. Everyone you don't know is going to die. Every animal is going to die.

In 125 years, this planet will be populated by an entirely new set of human beings and some really old sea turtles, who will, I'm sure, be quite certain that the world will end in their lifetimes. Sea turtles are notoriously fatalistic.
What's the point?

No, the world isn't ending. Obama isn't a "secret Muslim." (Though, the right-wing idea that all Muslims are evil makes my skin crawl. My children have friends who are Muslim. Good people are roaming this country and this earth who belong to religions that are not your own and they are no less good and important and vital than you.)

I've also heard that Obama's a "secret atheist." I doubt that highly, but it's certainly a possibility. I hate to break this to you, but this world is CHOCK-FULL of secret atheists. You should ask yourself why people feel like they have to keep that sort of thing a secret. Could it be that America isn't the country it was founded to be, a place where freedom of (and from) religion is vital to our way of life?

Also, this is shocking news, I know, but atheists and agnostics can be good people, too. Some of us don't need the threat of hell to do the right thing. I haven't been a child for quite some time, thank you very much. I don't need daddy to threaten me with a grounding to make me behave.

Anyway, Obama isn't coming to take your bible, babydoll. Chill, please. (P.S. There is also no war on Christmas. There is Christmas shit all over the damn place and we haven't even had Thanksgiving. If I say Happy Holidays to you, it's because I absolutely adore alliteration.)

No, my friends, life will go on.

Your existence here is a grain of sand on the vast shores of time. You are a blip. You are a drop in the ocean.

That doesn't mean you're not loved and special to those who know you. It just means you should calm down.

Make the most of your life here and now.

And please don't tweet racist crap. You're embarrassing Jesus.



  1. Bravo! This is quite possibly my all time favorite VCC blog entry.

    1. I like how often you say this! That's why you get an official title on the blog with a ™ next to it.

  2. Have a mentioned lately how proud I am to be your Dad and friend! This blip, grain of sand, for what it's worth, thinks you're a great writer! Some day most of the "beach grains of sand members" will know the writer's name, Amy Bickers.

  3. Thanks once again for saying the shit I can't really say to most people, which is sad in and of itself that I have to choose between articulating intelligent, rational thoughts and my job, but we are in Alabama after all ...

    1. I am happy and honored to be your blue-polka-dotted representative in a big red state!

  4. i live in the south (a big ol' red state), i have gay friends, muslim friends and black friends, am surrounded by stupid people and am married to an agnostic. holy shit! i'm doomed. save me sweet baby jeeeebus!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.