Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Withholding Judgement Is For Losers: A Film Review

I refuse to withhold judgement so I am judging this movie trailer.

1. Nicholas Sparks is a hack.

2. Isn't this the same plot as Sleeping with the Enemy?

3. A stranger giving you a bike is only not creepy if the stranger is a totally hot guy. Sorry, not hot guys, that's just the way the world works. If you're not hot, keep your free bike to yourself, please.

4. Hot guys are even hotter if their wives are dead. Sorry, wives of hot guys, that's just the way the world works, so could you please die already?

5. If you're going to show us yet another romantic canoe ride, Ryan Gosling better be in that canoe. Sorry, husband of Fergie, you're no Ryan Gosling.

6. Ooh, I have a mysterious past that makes me deep and wounded. Can you see it when I wear my bikini?

7. Oh, it's raining in a chick flick? Time to go outside and make out.

8. Nicholas Sparks is a hack. (It bears repeating.)

Related Links:
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  1. it's why i don't wear a bikini...

  2. Replies
    1. I feel sorry for the first wives of hot guys because they must die. It's the only way hot guy can be both hot and emotionally wounded. She must die for the good of the (chick flick) world.

  3. Your past is going to catch up to you, no matter how much you cut and bleach your hair.

    For some reason this trailer reminded me of Chocolat. I saw The Tao of Steve right before that movie, and Johnny Depp followed all of Steve's rules for getting the girl. It pretty much ruined the movie for me, but in a good way.

    1. I haven't seen Chocolat. It's one of those I somehow missed. I think this is from the same director, though.


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