Monday, October 22, 2012

November is LitAgLetWriMo

"What's with the Viking helmet?
I don't think novel-writing is that manly."
- Jacob Mercer 
If you're a writer or you dream of being a writer or you feel you have at least one novel in you, you've probably heard of National Novel Writing Month. It's also referred to as NaNoWriMo. It begins in nine days.

I've been thinking about participating this year. I have a novel idea that is almost fully outlined. I know my characters and what they're thinking. I've always thought it would be fun to participate in NaNoWriMo and just pound out the words as quickly as possible. Don't overedit. Don't belabor the point of chapter one. Move along swiftly and with purpose. Devote time each day to creating your own little world. (If that sounds right up your alley, sign up here.)

As cool as that sounds, I've actually changed my mind about NaNoWriMo.

I've decided instead to dedicate November to LitAgLetWriMo. Or Literary Agent Letter Writing Month. (Yes, I just made that up.)

I already have a book that needs to be published. I've been threatening to set it on fire. I've been threatening to just post it to my blog and say, "Here it is, you fuckers! Just read it for free while I enjoy this delicious bowl of ramen noodles!"

I have been mean to my little book. So I am going to show it some love this fall.

I have taken a significant break from writing the non-responsive bastards of the literary world and it's time to get back to it. Much like dating, seeking an agent is full of hope and heartbreak and people who seriously should have learned how to kiss a long time ago. I mean, what are you doing, trying to swallow my head?!

What? Potential agents don't require a pre-representation make-out session? Uh oh.

This is like that time Joey found out the truth about tailors.
Anyway, I've decided to send out five query letters each week in November.

If you're a writer with a book proposal or a completed manuscript, join me for what is certain to be a discouraging, disheartening, disappointing, dismal month of ups and downs, a month of being ignored by folks who wouldn't know a good book if I came up there to New York and beat them about the head with one.

People like to use the analogy that you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.

I'm not buying a ticket for the Lotto here.

I am practicing hope. I am putting time and effort into believing in my book. I am putting time and effort into not letting the bastards get me down.

I am lighting a fire.

I am hosting a backyard bonfire where I will burn copies of books by anyone named Snooki or Kardashian or E.L. James.

I am roasting marshmallows over the flames. I am smashing those marshmallows in between chocolate and graham crackers.

I am serving them up with red wine.

Smells like S'mores and hope up in here.




10 comments:

  1. Way to go!! But, be careful...roasting the marshmallows over those book copies could give them a foul taste and it's likely you're burning some poisonous s**t. :-)

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    1. Excellent point. It would probably make the marshmallows taste like low standards and poor choices.

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  2. You can do it!! I'm proud of you for hoping!!

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    1. Thank you! I was going to send three a week but the teenager said, "Do five! Come on! Five a week!" and I caved to the pressure. That kid is a jerk!
      Wish me luck.
      If this works out the way I think it should, we're going to be hanging out in Lake Como in no time!

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    2. Lots of good luck going your way. And let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I mean, I don't have any literary contacts or anything, but I can totally pimp your blog on my blog. Things like that.

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    3. Pimp My Blog. It's like a show on MTV!

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  3. I'm sure those books are so full of fluff you could make s'mores out of them.

    I like the shotgun approach. Here's hoping some literary agent gets a massive head wound---of enthusiasm for your book! (God, I should write greeting cards....)

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    1. Greeting Cards for Rejected Souls™.

      Those would sell!

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  4. ok, i'm in. i have a finished MS (well, it needs just a tad of editing) but i'll write some query letters wit ya. i have already decided that if i can't pull this off, i'm self-publishing...

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    Replies
    1. Yea! I'm so glad!
      If this doesn't work out, self-publishing is my next move, too.
      Good luck to us both!

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