Friday, October 12, 2012

Friday's Random Thoughts - None of this Shit Matters Edition

I thought Joe Biden did a good job last night. I, admittedly, have a soft spot for him because of this video. I don't blame him for laughing it up in response to Paul Ryan, but that's probably because I also react to enormous douchebaggery and asshattery with laughter as well. Case in point, I cracked up at this series of photos:
This is what a douchebag looks like. 
Last night, many Christians took to Facebook to self-righteously proclaim how right it is for a man to use his religious beliefs to dictate law. I wonder how they would feel if the candidate in question didn't share their particular faith? I wonder if they think someone has admirable integrity if he doesn't proclaim their particular brand of indoctrination? I wonder if they actually care about separation of church and state as long as they think it's their church that is in power? Oh, no, please don't waste too much time thinking about it. Just mindlessly click that "like" button. That shit's gonna get you into heaven.

If you think men should use their personal religious beliefs to run countries, good news: You and Hitler are in complete agreement.

"I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator... I am fighting for the work of the Lord." - Adolph Hitler

Just this morning I drove past a yard sign that read "Prayer: America's Only Hope." So I suggest all of you who believe that statement just stay home on election day and pray for your candidate to win.

I want just one Republican to explain to me which Romney they support after watching this:
Which of his statements do you agree with? What he said the first time or what he said during last week's debate? Does it even matter?

The truth is this is all pointless. The presidential debates won't matter. Last night's debate won't make a difference. Studies show that debates have very little impact on election results.

Most of us have issues that we care about more than others so we choose the side that most closely matches our views on those issues. I feel very strongly about women's reproductive rights, about the rights of gay people, and that we should have free diet soda in the cafeteria and new benches in the quad. So I'm voting for Marcia:
I used a Brady Bunch reference instead of a Saved by the Bell reference because I am old.
Good Lord, Cindy Brady is an illiterate twit.

I know there are some people who are still undecided, but all I can think of is this quote from David Sedaris during the last election:

I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

The one thing for which debates are extremely good? This:

I suspect this image is very confusing for all the Republicans who have such a hard-on for Ronald Reagan.

I told BFF Tina I didn't feel like ranting about politics today, but I guess I was wrong.

Tina pointed out that the best political thing to happen this week was Matthew Broderick handing out puffy frog stickers on 30 Rock. I think we can all agree on that.

It's been a tough week. I got my hopes up about something that doesn't look like it's going to pan out. I thought I'd learned my lesson about this kind of thing. I don't want to become cynical (too late), but I don't know if I have it in me to keep putting myself through this cycle of hope and letdown.

I'm not saying I'm going to give up. But I need to find a way to focus on what matters and let go of the rest.

Very little actually matters in the grand scheme of things. The problem is we don't live in the grand scheme. We live in the here and now.

So here's what I'm going to do:

I'm going to publish this post and feel so very grateful for my friends who read my blog and who, even if we disagree on politics, religion, or the high level of Paul Ryan's douchiness, love me anyway.

I'm going to take an Alleve because my back hurts, but I'm going to be grateful that I am in good health and of sound mind.

I'm going to look forward to next weekend when the kids and I will participate in the Out of the Darkness walk to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I'm going to express how grateful I am for the donations people have made and for the support.

I'm going to take Jacob to see Argo this weekend. We're going to buy our snacks at the gas station first.

I'm going to send another letter to another agent and I'm going to put myself out there even if it means being disappointed.

I'm going to accept this latest disappointment and move on.

I'm going to hide the social media posts of people who brag and brag and brag some more.

I'm going to have a vodka cranberry when I get home this evening.

I'm going to hug my kids and be unbelievably grateful for their presence in my life.

That's all I really know how to do.


  1. I found your blog through Wide Lawns and I already love it. The political snarkiness! The gifs! 30 Rock! I will keep reading.

    1. Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're reading. Welcome!

  2. I love you, your writing, and your blog! That is all. Oh, and Paul Ryan is a douche.

  3. Give Cindy a break---she's obviously dyslexic!

    Also found you through Wide Lawns and enjoy your humor. Hang in there!

    1. I reread this post over the weekend and I actually thought the same thing. Poor Cindy. I should't make fun of her. Then I considered the idea that maybe Alice made that sign!

      Thanks so much for the encouragement!

    2. *shouldn't*

      Karma: When one makes fun of another's poor spelling or grammar, one inevitably makes spelling error. D'oh!

  4. amy bickers, you make me smile. :)


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