If Lifetime Movie Network has taught us anything it is that grieving mothers who believe their dead children are actually still living are ALWAYS correct.*
And that guys named Schmennis and Schmark are total schmassholes.
Happy chore day, my friends!
*Except for Beth Holloway.
A Very Special Lifetime Christmas Movie Starring Me
"At the end of the movie, I said to my children, 'If you kids were doing what you're supposed to, you'd be writing letters to Santa asking him to bring your mommy a nice man for Christmas. You'd also be asking for me to get a book deal. Your letters to Santa are clearly lacking.'
As soon as I said this, I realized that I am the perfect heroine for a cheesy Christmas movie. I have all the necessary requirements. Let's count them down."