Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday's Random Thoughts - Vagueblogging Edition

I'm pretty outspoken about my belief that vaguebooking is a bad habit indicative of weak character and passive-aggressive tendencies. 

Certain people should really stop doing it. 

But, come on, haven't you ever had the urge to tell people off without getting specific about who it is you're telling off? I mean, those bastards know who they are. They just pretend not to know.

For example, sometimes I walk around the house yelling things like, "Can no one see this mess in the hallway?!" or "Obviously, some people here don't know how to take out the trash when it is full!" or "Somebody's feet sure STINK!" 

And when I yell these things, certain people who live here pretend they don't know I'm talking about them. 

So I've decided to indulge myself in today's very special Vagueblogging Edition of Friday's Random Thoughts. 

So y'all best prepare yourself for some non-specificity up in this bitch.  

Thanks to a certain sandwich company, this song has been stuck in my head all month. Thank you, unnamed sandwich company. This song is awesomesauce.

Some people's social media posts make other people want to punch some people in the head.

From no jobs to having two jobs (plus some freelance gigs). A member of the 47 percent is going to be very busy. This person thinks a certain ridiculous presidential candidate should suck it.

A certain person is no longer going to worry about what she might have done to earn the disdain of certain other people. A certain person happily doesn't have time for that shit any longer.


Some people shouldn't answer their phone if the first thing they're going to say is, "I'm in the middle of a conversation. I don't have time for this." Then may I suggest that you not answer the phone? Because, when you answer the phone in this manner, you are being rude to both the person with whom you are in the middle of a conversation and the person who isn't psychic and so wasn't aware that they shouldn't call you right that moment.

A certain political candidate should probably not use self-tanner.
Someone is an out-of-touch douchebag. And orange.

Certain people who have taken to hanging empty chairs from nooses in their front yards as some sort of political statement should simply admit they are disgusting excuses for human beings and should have to wear a sign that alerts other people to this fact.


If a certain person can't figure out why someone might not be able to rush right out and attend a $75 event or buy multiple $15 tickets for her family to see an art exhibit, that person probably hasn't had to worry about money ever and is probably clueless or spoiled. A certain person should probably say thank you more often for her undeserved blessings.

If a person hates where she lives so much, she should move or shut up. A certain person's neighbors probably hate her anyway.

People who can't respond to emails in a timely manner should not bother emailing certain other people in the first place.

A certain famous actress who has been arrested multiple times should just get in a car with a certain other famous actress who has been involved in multiple hit-and-runs and they should drive off a cliff Thelma and Louise-style.

A certain kitten with white fur and a tag that reads "Lucy" who lives in a certain household should stop getting on the kitchen counter unless that certain kitten wants to live somewhere else.

A certain blogger should probably stop yelling at the dumb animal that doesn't know any better. A certain blogger should really stop threatening bodily harm to the dumb animal.

A certain blogger really hates getting home after 7 every night because a certain blogger misses her kids, but the first thing she does is yell at a certain blogger's children about the mess they've made.

A certain blogger yells too much.

A certain blogger immediately puts on her pajamas when she gets home at night because a certain blogger is pathetically worn out from a job that requires her to sit in a chair for six hours. A certain blogger does this every evening:


A certain blogger thinks the absolute best thing about being so busy is that it makes Friday feel so fucking fantastic.

After a long day of phone interviews, job assignments, and making 100 phone calls on behalf of an unnamed non-profit organization, a certain blogger will be treating herself to a vodka cranberry this evening.

A certain blogger lies when she acts like it's going to be just one vodka cranberry.

A certain blogger was made very happy by this video of a certain red, furry creature, so she will sign off with this happy little video.



A certain George Clooney fan wishes a very happy Friday to certain people.

And certain other people can suck it.




2 comments:

  1. Love, love, love. Great vagueblogging. Certain people shouldn't get offended by this blog since a certain blogger called herself out, as well, in this post. Certain other bloggers, love what you've done here!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As much as I enjoy honesty, vagueblogging is strangely satisfying.

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