When you drop $5 on the counter for your six-inch Subway sandwich today, think about this: If you were willing to drop $20,000, you could treat me to lunch with George Clooney. (Oh yeah, you can come along, too.)
George is auctioning off a lunch date for two guests to join him and entertainment writer Dave Karger at the Soho House in West Hollywood.
Side note: Apparently, the Soho House is described as "exclusive." Whenever a place is "exclusive," I am immediately turned off. Exclusiveness annoys me. There's a bar in Birmingham that has a VIP room. Seriously? VIP? Who the hell in Birmingham is VIP? Taylor Hicks? Is the VIP room exclusively full of past American Idol winners crying in corners and wondering where all their potential went? Bo Bice shaking his fist in the air and cursing Carrie Underwood? Thanks, but I think I'll stay in the inclusive area.
Do you hear that, George? I'd be happy to share a foot-long sub with you at a sandwich joint.
Wondering who the hell Dave Karger is? He's a senior writer for Entertainment Weekly. He has a Twitter account here. Wondering why the hell Dave Karger is going to be there? I have no idea. But I'd be happy to talk to him about the publishing industry and about how Entertainment Weekly used to be a much better magazine than it is now.
The proceeds will benefit the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).
Nothing to wear? Need to lose ten pounds first? That's OK. You have time.
It may take up to a year for the lunch date to be scheduled. But that's good news. By the time the lunch happens, the George Clooney Girlfriend Contract will have expired on Stacy Keibler.
The terms also state that the winner will be subject to a security screening. I believe this means George Clooney will frisk you.
According to CharityBuzz, bidding is currently at $6,500 and will remain open until Oct. 11. The auction is expected to raise $20,000.
Mommy and Daddy, if you really love me, you'll buy me this.
Want to bid? Go to CharityBuzz.com.
Lastly, I will leave you with some photos of George consuming stuff.