Thursday, June 14, 2012

Trolling for Page Views (NSFW)


If you live in Alabama or Louisiana, or you're a journalist who keeps up with the horrifying details of your industry in its death throes, you've likely heard the news of extensive cuts at several newspapers in Alabama and at the Times Picayune in New Orleans. This is bad stuff. There are people who have been quoted as saying that talk of the death of the Birmingham News is premature. Perhaps, but there is no doubt the thing is gasping for breath in hospice care.

While reading coverage of the layoffs, I read this on Weld for Birmingham:

"Meanwhile, the Mobile Lagniappe is trying to determine whether news staff at the Alabama Media Group will be compensated based on the traffic their content generates. At least some of the reporting positions would no longer be salaried, but instead pay hourly, so they could be “on call” 24/7. Also, our sources say, some portion of their pay may be based on the number of clicks their content receives. Health benefits would also reportedly “change for the worse,” according to insiders."

"On call 24/7." 
"Some portion of their pay may be based on the number of clicks their content receives." 

This sounds like the WORST JOB EVER. I feel sorry for the people left behind. I want to help so, based on my extensive research (reading my own blog stats), I have decided to provide a list of topics that get the most clicks. Forget covering that city council meeting or interviewing mayoral candidates. Unless one of the people running for mayor is Ryan Gosling, of course. Otherwise, no one gives a shit about that and you know it.

Here are the top click-getters up in here:

1. Sad cat

2. Snoop Dogg gif

3. Community cast

4. vodka cranberry

5. Ryan Gosling glasses
6. Sad kitten

7. Mood swings (Oh, you guys will be having plenty of those, I'm sure.)

8. cat sad - Are you getting the message here? Sad cats are what people want. Listen, Birmingham News, just change your name to The Sad Cat Times already. Because, let's all face it, these are sad cat times indeed. You're probably going to need a drink, aren't you? Just look back at No. 4 on this list.

9. Clooney

Slightly less popular search term: Clooney Lake Como house
10. Tom Hiddleston
Dear Tom, Will you marry me?

Bonus: Based on how I spent much of today, I am going to predict that the term "Magic Mike" will also draw a huge audience. (This fine piece of cinema opens in theaters nationwide June 29. See you there!)

Oh yes, yes, yes, it definitely will. Yes. Yep. Uh huh. Oh yeah.

I'm sorry. What were we talking about?

Oh, that's right. We were talking about magic.


2 comments:

  1. I don't know why, but I feel so much better about wanting to see this movie, now that I know you do. It's going to be like going to a male strip club, without actually having to go to a male strip club (which we all know are not nearly as awesome as they sound).

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    Replies
    1. I'm going to see it the day it opens! I'm not ashamed! Nope, not at all. And this doesn't say anything at all about the current state of my (non-existent) love life.
      I agree about male strip clubs. In person, real strippers are icky. A guy danced at a bachelorette party I went to once and I mostly felt sorry for him in his tacky cut-off jean shorts.
      But Matt Bomer in this pretend strip club? Oh, Matt Bomer is going to be my pretend boyfriend for awhile.

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