Here are a few of the signs of my devolution:
(One sign that I have not completely devolved is that I am generally very sad for Jesse and I want to take him in and help him get his life on the right track.)
We ate a lot of Funyuns, bitch.
While watching late-night television, I realized all the commercials are targeted at elderly people. The loop of commercials included one for a scooter, one for a cancer treatment center, and one for an erectile dysfunction treatment that involves vacuum therapy. I don't even want to know what that entails. I bet it sucks.
During the fifth viewing of the scooter commercial around 4 am, when the creepy looking old man in a wood shop says, "Now I can get back to the important things in life...," I said, "Like molesting this young boy behind me."
Then Jacob and I both laughed so hard that we might have hurt ourselves.
I got up at noon, woke up the teenage boy, and we went to Waffle House where Jacob ordered a waffle, two eggs sunny side up, toast, hash browns, bacon, a Coke, and orange juice. Good Lord, there's something thrilling about watching a person order so much food! It's like sitting down to a meal with Henry the VIII.
We might even see Ted the day it opens. It's supposed to be really stupid, perfect for devolved humans. If you'd like to join us Friday afternoon for a trip to the theater, RSVP in the comments.
Bring your own Funyuns, bitch.