Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Nicknames Aren't For Everyone

I'm still thinking about Jessica Simpson's daughter, Maxwell Drew (yes, I have a lot of free time. What's it to you?) and what life might bring to a girl with a name like that. For instance, life might bring her a lot of nicknames like Max or Welly or M.D. or The Doctor. Ooh, I like that one. Or perhaps her friends might call her the unfortunate Maxi.

No, it's not cute. Sorry. Maxi is a straight road to Maxi Pad and you know it. Have you forgotten everything you learned in elementary and middle school?

Maybe little Maxwell will insist on being called by her name. No nicknames allowed.

Yesterday, my dad called and told me one of his favorite stories about my mom. He was reminded of it because he has a new co-worker who has my mom's name and, like my mom, doesn't go by a shorter version. I've heard the story before, of course, from both my dad and my mom, but it's always funny. It tells you a lot you need to know about my mom, like No. 1: Don't F*ck With Her.

When my parents were married and my dad was still in the Navy, the two of them attended a dinner with some other officers. One of them was the executive officer and second in command on my dad's ship. He was there with his wife.

Introductions were made. My mom's name is Elizabeth and the wife of the executive officer was Helen.

Helen said to my mother, "I'll call you Liz!"

And my mother, who goes by Elizabeth and always has, said, "Oh good. And I'll call you Hell."

My mom is awesome and always has been.
They call me Elizabeth. 


  1. I have never met your mother, but I think we could be Best Friends. I hate it when people call me Jo. ::shudder::

  2. As I said yesterday, it is a favorite of mine! However, as a young navy officer and trained-to-be-respectful-to senior officers, I was instantly afraid of being demoted. The truth is the XO and I became good friends, and later he confided how damn funny he thought it was.
    And, Amy, just so you know, none of my macho, hard partying, rowdy fellow officers ever f*cked with your Mom. In fact, she was just one of the guys. :-)

  3. Alright guys, it's too early in the morning for my head to be swelling so big - I won't be able to get out the door of my office. But, yes, my mother (who really was the one no one f'd with, demanded that we be called by our actual names. When someone would talk about that cute boy named Jimmy (my brother James) it caused uncontrollable laughter and real fear that my mother would find out! Thanks for the memories.


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