Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hey, Mister, Can You Spare A Dime (or 400,000 Dimes)?

According to this article over at Huffington Post, I could go to George Clooney's house in Los Angeles for the low, low price of a $40,000 donation to President Obama's reelection campaign.

If we all pool our money, I'm pretty sure we can come up with that. Or maybe some of you could sell your cars or your jewelry. Perhaps you have a stash of gold you'd like to sell. Or a small child. You're not that attached to that baby anyway.

Whatever you decide to sacrifice for this very important cause, please know that it will be so worth it for my complete and utter happiness.

If I could invite four people to dinner, I'd invite Barack and Michelle, George, and Neil deGrasse Tyson. It'd be the best dinner ever! I've given a lot of thought to the details. The dinner conversation would be fantastic and full of laughter. Barack and Michelle would probably have to leave right after dinner, so Neil, George and I would go out for drinks. I've heard George is quite the drinker, but we all know I would drink George under the table.

P.S. We will also need to raise enough money for me to have a kick-ass new outfit and a haircut. And could someone please distract Stacy Keibler while her boyfriend falls in love with me at first sight?

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