Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Public Service Announcement (In Which I Ruin a Beloved Childhood Classic)

Yesterday, Lady and the Tramp (originally released in 1955) was released on Blu-Ray DVD. It's being heavily promoted as a great Valentine's Day gift.

And it really would make a great gift. Especially for young girls. Especially if you want them to start buying into the bad boy/good girl dynamic. Especially if you want them to grow up saying things like, "I'm sure he had a reason for not showing up last night" or "I know he can change" or "Bad boys are so interesting and hot and never boring!"

As my friend Christopher likes to say, "Chicks dig scars. And assholes."

Stop the madness!

If you love your daughters, you will shield them from this spaghetti-slurping propaganda.

Listen, this movie is excellent. The romance between the refined and spoiled Lady and the cynical Tramp is charming and adorable. When they have a litter of adorable pups and live happily ever after, isn't it so sweet?
Come on, you know Tramp would knock up Lady and leave her to raise all those damn puppies by herself while he went out and got wasted on doggie treats every night and started sniffing the butt of some slutty poodle.

Bad boys don't change.

Once a dog, always a dog.

It's just shameful to buy into the mythology of bad boys and how hot and irresistible and dreamy they are, how they will change if they love you enough.

Now excuse me while I go watch George Clooney as a bank robber/prison escapee in Out of Sight for the 5th time. This month.


Side note: While I'm certain The Shining didn't help, I think it was Lady and the Tramp that first influenced my feeling that identical twins are totally creepy. And that Siamese cats crawled directly out of Satan's litter box.

6 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Yes, indeed. That's my journalistic training at work. Although, if you think about it, reminders that dogs will be dogs is always a timely topic.

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  2. I, for one, should be reminded weekly—no, daily.

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    1. I will be happy to provide this service for you if you will promise to do the same for me. 2012: The Year of No JWs.

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  3. I'm so happy that the term JW has become worldwide and used freely.

    As for the post...BRAVO FRIEND. They're called tramps for a reason.

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    1. I have informed Stephanie that she, you, Erin, and I need to collaborate on a book called A Girl's Guide to Douchebags. It would be a bestseller.

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