Monday, January 23, 2012

Blue Monday Playlist

Have you heard? Today is the most depressing day of the year. Some psychologist said this in 2005 so that a travel agency could use it as part of a publicity campaign. According to the press release this agency sent out, the third Monday in January  is the "perfect storm" of Christmas bills, hideous winter weather, and failed New Year's resolutions.

Hello, Amy? I'm blue without you.
Important Note: The Perfect Storm isn't perfect without my boyfriend George.

Much like Valentine's Day, Blue Monday is total bull shit. Nevertheless, the media likes to report on it each year as if it's not total bull shit. The theory that this is the most depressing day of the year is based on a mathematical equation that makes as much sense as this one I just made up:

(Amy Bickers + George Clooney) x Numerous tropical vacations - Stacy Keibler = World Peace and Happiness for Everyone in the Whole Wide World

Never mind. My equation makes total sense.
Side note: Psych returns in February. Set your DVR, fools.
But who cares if it's all pseudoscience? Let's celebrate this wonderful, made up, fakey-fake day of psychological pain by bemoaning our fates whilst listening to a moody playlist (and using old-fashioned words like "whilst").

In honor of Blue Monday, I'm going to share with you my "Sorry for Myself" playlist. I created it more than two years ago. According to iTunes, I have listened to the songs on this playlist more than 100 times during the last two years. I honestly thought it would have been more.

The only song that rivals the songs on this playlist for most plays is "Get Back" by Ludacris. "Get Back" is like the other side of a heavy coin called Grief. I carry this coin in my pocket. Sometimes I take it out and flip it into the air. Heads? Pouty-mouth, pity music. Tails? Potty-mouth, "bitch, please" music.

On this Blue Monday, do you want to feel all moody and down? Do you want to spend the day hatin' on shit? Then this is the soundtrack for you, my friend.

Hit "play" and let's get to boo-hooing.

Just remember that tomorrow is Cranberry Red Tuesday. Yes, I just made that up. I can do that because I once took a psychology class. Also, cranberry red matches the color on this excellent image of Ludacris.

On Cranberry Red Tuesday, you must get the hell out of bed and get busy living. Then order a copy of my book: Get Busy Livin' or Get Busy Dying: Your Guide to Being Blissfully Happy While Stealing Quotes From Morgan Freeman Movies.

Today is still Blue Monday, though, so feel free to moan and groan and harmonize with Joni Mitchell to your pitiful heart's delight. Enjoy!

1. "Sideways" by Citizen Cope

2. "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell

3. "Let It Be Me" by Ray LaMontagne

4. "Everybody's Got to Learn Sometime" by Beck

5. "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam

6. "Beautiful" by Steve Conn

7. "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles

8. "Breathe Me" by Sia

9. "Today's the Day" by Aimee Mann

10. "Half Life" by Duncan Sheik


  1. Im in love with Sia's, Breathe Me. And Ill listen to R LaM all day. Great playlist. Im not feeling the sad however, this is more of a romantic bluesy lets make out playlist. :)

  2. Yes, this would definitely work for a make-out session, too. It's been awhile, though. Not sure I remember what a make-out session is like. : )


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