Thursday, January 12, 2012

Are You There, Chelsea? (Your new show stinks!)

Last night I recorded the new NBC sitcom starring Laura Prepon and Chelsea Handler so I could watch it today and see just how awful it is.

I mean, the commercial for it makes it pretty clear it's going to be up there with the top ten worst sitcoms ever.

Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of Chelsea Handler's onscreen presence. Her delivery is so stilted it makes me uncomfortable. It's like listening to a drunk, one who thinks she's far funnier than she actually is, tell jokes that she's reading from a teleprompter. And maybe that's her shtick. It doesn't work for me.

Apparently, the show is based on her bestselling book, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Why is the show called Are You There, Chelsea? You got me. Is the word vodka not allowed in TV show titles?

I'm going to count the number of times I laugh. Here goes:

:05 minutes in: No laughs yet.
:08 minutes in: A reference to "lady wood." I don't know who came up with this phrase. I don't know who uses it. Whoever you are, please stop it. It's not funny.
"I was such an idiot to major in journalism."
OK, that line is true.
Didn't make me laugh, though.
:11 Jokes about a guy with curly, red hair. They go on. And on. And on. None of the jokes are funny.
:14 A joke about the Jonas Brothers being virgins. They obviously imported this joke from the year 2008.

:15 Chelsea Handler looks like she is 60 years old. And she's a terrible actress.
Commercial break. I still haven't laughed yet.
:22 Cue stupid sitcom birth scene. "Get this thing out of me." Do women in labor actually say this? Ever? If you said this while giving birth, my apologies. I'm apologizing for what I'm about to say, which is this: "You're an idiot and a cliche. There is nothing worse than being a cliche. Or an idiot."
:24 I do not buy Chelsea Handler as a character who loves her baby. I don't buy her as a character who loves anyone. I don't actually buy her as a real person who likes real people in real life.
It's like romantic comedies starring Jennifer Aniston. Do you ever once actually buy into the idea that she likes the guy? Watch reruns of Friends. Do you ever believe Rachel really likes Ross? No, because Jennifer Aniston is incapable of acting like she likes a guy.
Sorry, back to this dumb show.
Commercial break. I still haven't laughed.
:29 I have wasted nearly 30 minutes of my life.

Friends, promise me that you won't waste 30 minutes of your life. Do not watch this show. Order Community on Netflix instead. To make myself feel better, I'm posting a clip.

Here's another one. Want to know how I'd react after meeting George Clooney? The 2:29 mark to the 2:50 mark should about sum it up. 


  1. Yea, not surprising. I am not a Chelsea fan. Why doesn't she ever wear any makeup? It's like she is trying to pull off that- I am just naturally attractive thing- wrong. And her side kick- Chuy- yikes! Was it ever verified that he was in a porn show? I must admit though, I do find him much more entertaining than her.

  2. Tim and I bypassed Whitney and Chelsea altogether. Didn't even record it so I am glad to see that we didn't miss anything. Hope they're both off the air soon.
    And Jennifer - she is friends with Adam Sandler which is the only reason she looked comfortable with him in that movie where she is posing as his ex-wife. Just don't understand how these women stay "famous".

  3. Yes! That is the ONLY movie where she seems to genuinely like the male lead. I hope the Chelsea sitcom will go away soon. I did hear that "Community" will be back on this spring. Yea!


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