What the hell good are these kids?
During my nearly 16 years so far of living with people younger than 18, I have observed that they also are absolutely incapable of doing any of the following:
1. Brushing one's teeth without being reminded.
2. Brushing one's teeth without spraying foamy toothpaste all over the mirror.
3. Brushing one's teeth for more than 30 seconds.
4. Fully closing the peanut butter jar.
|"But why does it matter?" "I don't know, kid. Bitches be crazy."|
6. Fully closing the kitchen drawers.
7. Fully closing bedroom dresser drawers.
8. Fully appreciating everything their mothers do for them.
9. Tossing out the empty milk or orange juice carton instead of putting it back in the fridge.
|But they'll hang the towels like this.|
11. Cleaning one's bedroom without acting as if it is the most unreasonable request in the history of the world.
12. Hanging up wet towels. However, if you ask them, they will hang the towels but only after sighing very heavily.
13. Putting away the pile of clean clothes you just folded. Instead they will rummage through the pile until every last item is no longer folded and they can no longer distinguish between the dirty clothes pile and the clean clothes pile.
|My mom is losing it over a hoodie. LOL. Send.|
15. Dropping a backpack anywhere other than right inside the front door so that everyone who arrives at or leaves the house might have the pleasure of tripping over it.
16. Emptying one's cereal bowl rather than leaving it in the sink to congeal into nasty, artificial cocoa-flavored sludge.
17. Scraping one's plate into the trash can without covering the lid of said trash can with half the contents of one's plate.
18. Resisting the urge to call one's brother an idiot.
19. Resisting the urge to tell one's sister she is ugly.
20. Resisting the urge to tell one's mother that she is lame. I am not lame! I just love a good Michael McDonald song.
Come on, kids, groove with me now. And, for the love of God, could you please close the cabinet doors?!